Don't Wake The Snake

(BANG BANG BANG BANG) HAAAAAAAANNNK!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNK!!!!!!!!!! (BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG) GET THE SWEET AND SOUR SAUCE HANK!!!!! (BANG BANG BANG) THE SWEET AND SOUR NOT BARBEQUE!!!!!(BANG BANG BANG BANG) HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (If someone put random comics I would join along)

Hey, I'm just exercising my Second Amendment rights here, ya fucking communist.

This is the wrong place to advertise 

This is the wrong place to advertise 

We see planet earth drifting through the black void of space, a demonic sigil burned in its surface. I look down upon it, standing vigil in my orbital space castle ship fortress thing. I'm listening to a woman crying for help over the radio. I know the demonic forces are butt-humping my planet and I am pissed as hell. I grab my super duper shotgun and exactly three out of six available shells. That's not enough, but that's okay. I also have my trusty wrist blade. Then I put on my iconic helmet. As the portal leading to earth's surface powers up, I feel my huge dick pushing against the inside of my suit of tech armor. I'm ready, I reload my gun.